Dear Lovely Friends and Readers,

Today is Tuesday, April 29, 2008.

Today is Entry Number 46.

Well, not only am I obviously completely sick of Connie Mailla, I am also officially completely sick of her mother, Annilee, also. And it's funny because my mother cannot stand either of them either, so if I were the only one who was driven completely crazy by them, I would think maybe it was just me, but if my mother, one of the most easy-going, layed-back people I have met, cannot stand them either, then it must not all just be my imagination. It's also funny because right when I started coming to SPA's advanced classes, I stopped finding her completely obnoxious and almost was okay with her. But after this whole thing with Connie, she's gone back to her old obnoxious self.

Well, Max twisted his ankle playing guitar (or at least trying to) over the weekend, and ended up braking his ankle. I mean, how do you brake your ankle playing guitar, for crying out loud? I guess he turned the wrong way and it just snapped. But he's not a complainer when it comes to things like that. If it had been Cami, she'd have been bitching all day. But he was pretty cool about it, for which I was glad.

So when Regan and I wandered in Max comes skipping up to us, saying that he bet his friend he could get fifty girl's names on it in a week. I'm not sure how much he bet, but it must have been a lot, because he was pretty stoked about it. Along with a bunch of hearts and smilies, I also put "Chalotte: Max's Favorite" just to piss Connie off who just put "Connie".

Jenna Maxwell, Re's mom, once again told us that she didn't need our help in her art class for the little kids, so we went up in one of the empty classrooms upstairs and talked.

So you know how some people (like Connie and Annilee Mailla) go around talking about everything they know and how they know everything about everyone when they don't even know a thing about any of it? Well, that's just how Re is, only in a good way. Re walks around talking about how she knows everything about everyone (not a bragging way, even), but the thing is, she does know everything about everyone.

So I got all the hot gossip from Re: Apparently Cady Thompson (or just "whore" according to Max) is now going out with Noah Carter. I just about died when I heard that one. So you know how some guys are really ugly, but they're really sweet and you can't help but love them? And then you know how some guys are totally hot, but they're complete dolts? Well, Noah Carter is both: he's totally ugly and he's a complete dolt. God, he thinks every word that comes out of his mouth is the funniest thing to ever be said. And he's a complete smart-ass.

And evidently, before Cady and Noah hooked up, Cady made-out with Milo August. The part that will certainly cause the percentage of people calling her a whore to go up: He walked up to her, asked to talk to her, and asked if he could kiss her. Cady's response, and I quote: "Hell, yes." God, do I feel kind of bad for telling Max that she's not that bad. Now, do I think it's right that every time she walks into the room he calls to the nearest guy, "Who ordered a prostitute?" No, I think it's awful that he does that. But do I think Cady derserves a tenth or eleventh chance from all of us? I don't really know how to answer that.

I then asked Re if she thought it would be weird if I wore a dress to the play on Friday. Of course she knew why right away. Yes, my friends, the gorgeous, the wonderful, the amazing, Seth Riley is, as always, in the play. But so is Charlotte Hanna, his girlfriend, so that kind of defeats the purpose, but whatever. I still want an excuse to wear my dress! And I was thinking I might do my hair all purdy . . .

But anyway Re didn't think it would be weird at all. A little obvious, perhaps, she said, considering my eyes follow him everywhere he goes, but maybe people (his girlfriend included, hopefully) won't pick up on that. You know, I feel so sluttish drooling all over him, and then getting pissed at Max when he's all over Connie Mailla. And this is just going to make my sluttish factor go up a few more points, but I'm just going to say it: No matter how much this seems like it's just me making excuses, there is a difference between Max and me. Where, in my case, Seth Riley is just a crush. I've talked to him three times in my whole entire life! But then, in Max's case, Connie is just about the only person he hangs out with anymore. There is a difference. Max cannot stop talking about Connie and has even told me that he might have a "thing" for her. Where, in my case, I've never even mentioned Seth to him, except that one time he was calling him a whore (that's like the worst thing you can call him behind his back, according to Max, because some people say he's bisexual, which, among people his age, is like a huge no-no or something which is total bullshit) and I told him to stop calling him that. But you know what I mean, right? It's just different. Now, I'm sure Max could make this same exact arguement from his point of view, but I'm just saying, the way I see it, I'm not doing anything wrong by just having a little crush on the most adorable guy ever! Am I right? I said, Am I right? (That's from "A Charlie Brown Christmas," by the way.)

Anyway . . . wow, I really got off topic there. So after that Re and I just started talking about how, in writing class, Annilee never seems to help us. And then when Carrie tries to help us, Annilee has to jump in and say, "I read that book when I was twelve! Ha! Suck on that!" Okay, she's never told any of to "suck on that" but you get the idea, right?

By then, it was time for writing class. Wonderful.  Don't get me wrong, I love to write. Ask any of my friends, and they'll tell you that it's an obsession with me. But I just hate writing class this term because Re and I are the ones who take it seriously. With the exception of Ryan; he takes it pretty seriously, I guess.

Now, I just have to say it: I once again have proof that Ryan is not the idiot he gets turned into in these social situations. I had a decent, substance-containing conversation with him. And that's the thing! When he isn't surrounded by all those stupid guys I love talking to him. He's actually really down-to-earth, and just has some really great opinions. He even said it to me once. We were sitting there in the field and he said something, in response to which, Max said, "God, Ryan, you're such a freak!" And as God as my witness, Ryan looks over at me and says, "You know, I'm not really like this at home." And I took that to mean what I've always been telling people about Ryan. I think, where Ryan comes off as being overly social and overly comfortable in social situations with his peers, it's actually that's so unsocial, and so uncomfortable in those situations, that he invents this "bad-boy" persona, as Max calls it, to try and feel accepted. But if you get Ryan one-on-one, you can have the best conversations with him. He has a great sense of humor, he has great taste in music, and he's just really together.

And dammit, you know what? I think Annilee Mailla has pinned a lot of stuff on Ryan that was her own daughter's fault; but just because he spends time with that group, and has that reputation, she gets away with it. You know, it's funny, because sometimes I think moms can be worse than their daughters. Annilee is so focused on keeping her damn family image of every second of their life being the perfect Kodak-moment, that when her daughter is going through something that she could actually use some parental-guidence on, Annilee refuses to aknowledge that anything's wrong because her kids are perfect and could never do anything wrong. But the thing she doesn't realize is that everyone in the whole damn school knows that her children are worst trouble-makers in the whole building! I know it, they know it, and the American people know it! And you know what I think? I think it's that Annilee knows it better than any of us, and she's terrified that someone's going to find out that her family is not the perfect Pleasentville family that everyone thinks they are. I'm just going to say this: I've heard stories about that family. Stories that I don't like the sound of.

After writing class Re and I sat up in one of the empty classrooms and ate our lunch. And believe it or not, Max sat with us the whole time. Allie wandered up after a while, followed by Cami and Connie which pretty much ruined it because Max left with them. God, am I sick of his shit. But you know what my mother just said yesterday? She said, "You know the sad part is, this would be such a great group if it weren't for the Lovekin family." And it's the truth. I don't have a problem with anyone else in that group except Connie and Conor Mailla.

For the next our, Re, Ryan, Josh, Conor and I are the only ones who have a free period. Conor had to leave for "work" (which actually means he has to go home and sleep until it's time to go out and get drunk with his video-gamer friends) so it was just the four of us. Of course, having a free period means we have to watch all of the little kids. We made them play football while we sat around and talked. And once again, Ryan and I had a really nice conversation. He, like me, is really into indie music, so we just talked about all this great indie and unsigned bands while Re and Josh talked about something else. You know, she's my best friend in this entire world, but Re has awful taste in music.

Since we're both sick of all the bullshit going on in that school and since we're just bad enough to do it, Re and I ditched next period and went for a walk around the grounds. We discussed Max a lot since we're both sick of him, and before we knew it, it was time to go back inside and leave.

So that's it.

Hugs and take care, everyone!

Charlotte

Like mother like daughter, eh? I don't get why some people work so hard to maintain a "perfect" image for people around them... I mean saying you're happy when you're not just because you don't want to talk about it and deal with a million questions you maybe can't answer - that I get. (Hell I do it 98% of the time with most people.) But trying to be a Stepford wife or something... maybe she's just horrifically unhappy and is desperate to be happy. Maybe she's ashamed of something (?) and trying to keep things "perfect" to make up for it. Maybe she's hoping if she ignores her problems they'll magically vanish or resolve themselves. There are a million possibilities. Regardless of what the truth is, it sounds like she's probably completely miserable - but trying not to let anyone know it for whatever reason. Which is pretty sad.

If it is any consolation I was totally boy crazy when I was your age too... and I stayed that way for quite a while. haha You're allowed to like lots of guys if you want to. Just liking them, having a crush on them or just plain thinking they're hot is fine, and doesn't make you a slut at all. DOING stuff with all of them would make you a slut - but admiring from afar doesn't. ;-)