Dear Wonderful Friends and Readers,

Today is Wednesday, May 14, 2008.

About four or five months ago, I would say, I chopped about eight inches off of my hair. Sick of it being down my waist (I know, it's insane), I just woke up one morning and said, "Mother, get in the car; we're choppin' all this hair off!" After roughly eight inches were gone, I was so happy with it. But I still didn't really have a style to it. So last night I went to this new place quite close to where I live and got it cut to about a half-inch below my shoulders. I also got these really cute bangs. With the bangs, I'm sort of getting a Hayley Williams of Paramore vibe; but the whole shebang looks very Britney in the "Baby One More Time" era. You know, before she was a mess and all.

So anywho, Mother and Daddy went hiking again. I would go with them, but I simply can't give up having a day all to myself. So I, once again, opted to stay home. But Mother is going to stop by before picking up Lily and Liam at school, drop off Daddy and pick up me so I can show Regan and Bobbie my hair. Maybe Max will be there and see what he's missing . . .

God, I really need to stop thinking that way, don't I? I just feel so resentful toward Connie for screwing everything up. I mean, things were going so good and then she had to decide that she wasn't getting enough attention and make it hell for Re and me. I mean, I know she has social and emotional issues, but the thing that just makes me sick to my stomach is that her mother, Annilee, will do nothing about it. Connie needs help and she's not getting any. But anywho, I don't really want to start talking about this right now.

I ditched again on Monday because I just couldn't take it. Max is just driving me crazy and I just didn't feel like dealing with him. But Mother really wants me to go to the party next week, just because it's the last day. I guess I'm going to go and just hang out with Re and Allie.

Hmm . . . what else? I mean, I guess that's it.

Take care.

Charlotte

Dear Friends,

Today is Friday, May 9, 2008.

Regan and I went to see SPA's production of "Our Town" this evening. As I believe I mentioned before, my aunt bought me this wonderful little dress that I've been dying to wear forever, and what better time to wear it: I'm officially finished with Max and I get to sit in a room with Seth Riley for two hours. How perfect, right? But I also thought, perhaps, I would look a bit over dresed in my fancy getup, so I begged Regan to go out and buy a dress, just so that I wouldn't look like a complete dork.

School was the same as it is every day: pointless. And that's so unlike me to say, because I'm Miss Charlotte Harvard-Bound (Hopefully) Keep, and I never hated school. Ever. Until this year, that is. People started acting stupid. Perhaps I shouldn't have let them bump me ahead. (Being only thirteen I should still be in the eighth grade, but the damn teachers saw some stupid potential in me and sent me to high school.) It's that different from seventh grade, though. Just a lot more stupid people, sexual referrences, and "that's what she saids." But I'm hanging in there.

I think, for the time being, Max and I are pretty much good. Believe or not, I sat on his lap throughout our entire history class. Now I know what you're thinking: Charlotte! I thought you were finished with him? But here's the dealio: Yes, I don't want Max to be my boyfriend anymore. I'm sick of having him around all the time, reminding me of it. And I still think he can be a complete idiot. But that doesn't mean there's still a little part of me that can't let go, and wishes we were still best friends like in the good old days of middle school. So it wasn't like a boyfriend-girlfriend thing; more of a suck-on-that-Charlotte-Wite kind of thing, because she's completely in love with him. (Talk about "that's what she said.")

I got home today at four o'clock as usual, so I had two hours to get ready for the play. Well, I decided to for the Taylor Swift look, as I did that Monday when I thought things were going to be cool with Connie Mailla. (Someone whom I don't wish to speak of now, since I'm still happy from tonight.) Now, as I've mentioned before, I have very, very thick hair. I mean, like, it weights down my head. So by six o'clock (the time at which we were supposed to be walking out the door) I was still doing my make-up. (I don't usually wear anything other than mascara because of my stupid blonde eyelashes, but it was a special night, and I wanted to look purdy.)

So after getting lost once we pull into the parking lot twenty-five minutes after the play started. Now I was just about ready to cry by then. The one time I get to see Seth Riley without Max breathing down my neck, I miss a third of it. But I just about cried even more when we finally made it inside. We got seats right in the back, of course, but I had a perfect view of the only reason I was even there.

I, to this moment, have absolutely no clue what that play was about. I think even if I hadn't been late, I still wouldn't have followed it, because there was this new chick that I've not seen in the plays in the past who had this really weird, deep voice and I couldn't understand I word she said. And that damn traitor Laurel Smith has such a soft voice that I couldn't hair anything she said. But I just have to say, he was totally the best in the play. That's one of the only things most people actually do like about Seth Riley: he is a damn good actor. He really gets into it, you know?

I was ready to close my eyes afterwards when he would probably snatch up Charlotte Hanna and they'd start making-out, but that never happened, and for that I was grateful. After the play was over, Regan and I just followed him through the building. We even walked all the way down to the guys bathroom and waited outside, pretending to be looking for Bobbie (who wasn't even there) the whole time.

After that we went out and played in the dark parking lot for a while, Regan, Lily and I. We all had on our pretty dresses so we were making up a dance while we waited for somoene to come and pick us up and take us to get something to eat.

While we were walking out Regan says, "Charlotte, you're my best friend; you're like my sister. And I just need to say something: I didn't understand anything in that play."

"Don't worry, Re, I didn't either. And yet . . . I enjoyed it."

She smacked me good because she knew exactly what I meant.

Once I was home I washed the half-bottle of hairspray out of my hair, made some mac-n-cheese, peeled some clementines, poured some "decaf" root beer and Lily and I made copies of the programs for the play so that I could draw hearts around Seth Riley and give Charlotte Hanna devil horns without ruining my precious real program. (I grabbed two, just in case.) Ultimately, I decided devil horns just were not enough for Charlotte, so I ended up just scribbling out her face and doodling on the rest of their faces until I kicked Lily out about fifteen minutes ago so I could give you all a play-by-play of my evening.

So that's all. The whole fam-damily's headed to my grandmother's house tomorrow to celebrate Mother's Day, so I'm considering wearing my dress to that, also. My grandmother "loves to see me in a dress" because I have "such good legs." And that, my friends, is a direct quote from my seventy-two-year-old grandmother. I'm just looking forward to the look on Mother's face when she sees the gift that my aunt always buys  Lily, Liam and me to give to her. What is this look? A look of knowingness.

Hugs and take care.

Charlotte

Dear Lovely Readers,

Today is Thursday, May 8, 2008.

Although I agree with those who are saying he was beginning to sound a bit predictable, I must say that I was terribly sad to see Jason Castro leave "American Idol" last night. He is such a unique performer, and has such talent, and I must add that he was simply adorable. But I don't really think "American Idol" was Jason's thing; I think he'll do all right, even without winning. Speaking of winning, I really think my guy David Cook is going to do it. He's my favorite from since the beginning of the whole show. Yes, it came on when I was like six, so I don't quite remember the days of Kelly Clarkson, but I'm not that fond of her, so I feel all right saying that rocker David is my all-time favorite in "American Idol" history.

Since I think it's mostly if not wholly ladies reading my blog, I can use code and say that it "my time of the month." So I tossed and turned all night last night until eleven o'clock, having cramps like you wouldn't believe. I finally got up and took some motrin at one in the morning and went right to sleep. Of course I then woke up at five o'clock. Well, since I am merely a child, I feel all right admitting that I'm not all that fond of lying in my dark bedroom all alone at five in the morning, so I turned the radio on, hoping it would distract me from my thoughts of the mothman from the movie "The Mothman Prophecies." Well, being delerious with stomach pain, I forgot to reset my alarm and ended up sleeping until eleven.  So I'm really off track today. I've been lying around bitching and moaning for the past two days and things were just getting of control, and I simply cannot function when things are messy, so I spent most of the day cleaning. Whenever an adult sees my room, they always tell I'm the weirdest teenager they've ever seen. My room is spotless. It's not an obsessive compulsive thing (to a certain degree), it's more just the fact that I cannot function with crap laying all over the place. So I picked up the clothes off the floor, vaccuumed, dusted, cleaned the windows and mirrors, did laundry, the whole shootin' shabang. As a result of this, I feel a little better.

Even though I clean like one of those obsessive mothers who only has one kid, I am still a teenage girl and have to make a teenage girl confession: There is a play at SPA tomorrow and someone that I've been stalking for a while now will be performing in it. All right, yeah, I'm talking about the fabulously gorgeous, gorgeously fabulous Seth Riley. So my aunt recently bought me this gorgeous knee-length pink dress with dark pink flowers on it. And I'm going to wear it to the play. But I don't want to look under dressed, so I made Re buy a dress just for tomorrow night. I think Lily's going to wear a dress, too. I'm also going to do the whole Taylor Swift look again with my hair. I'm sure we're all going to look stupid, but at least we'll feel purdiful.

As most of you probably know by now, I am a huge fan of Panic at the Disco. I just about had a heart-attack when I found out that they were the musical guest on "Saturday Night Live" a month or two ago. I taped it, and I've watched it like a billion times since then.  Well, they'll be performing on "Letterman" tonight, so Lily and I are going to stay up until midnight or whenever they perform and watch it. I'm terrified I'm going to forget to tape it. Yes, for an obsessive fan-girl, that would be the end of the world.

So I think I've thoroughly pissed Max off. Again. I pretty much lost it with him on Monday and said some things about Connie Mailla that I shouldn't have. But he just cannot let it go. And the most difficult part is that he catches me at the worst possible moment and corners me. Like, I'll be sitting there in History, trying to take notes and he'll just blurt out, "Why do you hate Connie so bad?" And I'm just sick of it. So we're sitting there on Monday and he hits me with it: "Will you tell me what the deal is now?"

I think Re knew that I've had it with him, so she casually leads Allie and Cami away.

"All right, Max," I said. "I'm going to talk to you about this not because I want to talk about it --- I don't --- but because I can see how heavily this is weighing on your mind."

He nodded and sat down beside me.

"All right, " I said agian. "I want to preface this with this: I love you to death, Max, I really do. You're a great guy and you're fun and you're just . . . a good guy, okay? But . . . I don't 'like' you. That's all there is to it." I'm big on air-quotes, in case you've not noticed.

He almost looked hurt at first but then just nodded, sighed, and said, "I know that."

"But Max, Connie does. Connie is head-over-heels in love with you."

He just looked at me.

"And you like her."

He kept looking at me.

"Don't you?"

He nods. "Is that why you don't like her?"

"No!" I think I scared him because I just about whacked him in the head jumping up and flinging my arms in the air. "That's not it at all."

"But you don't like her."

I hesitated, not knowing how to put it. "No. I don't."

"Why?"

And that's when I lost it. "Because Connine Mailla is a phony. She is the biggest phony I have ever seen in my entire life. And I cannot stand to be around someone like that. Do you understand that, Max?"

He nodded, but he didn't mean it.

"Are we good now?"

He didn't say anything.

"I don't like her, Max, I don't. But that doesn't mean you can't. Okay?"

He nodded and walked away.

I didn't see him much after that, but I talked to him later on and he just seemed a little sad. I feel bad if I upset him, but he just needs to suck it up and be a man about it! I don't like his girlfriend; I can't stand her. And if he can't get that through that warped mind of his, then I guess I have no use for him. Max is different, ever since he started hanging out with Connie, and I just don't really want to have anything to do with him anymore. I mean, if he wants to say hi to me as we pass in the corriders and hug me when I leave, fine. But I'm not going to make an effort to hang out with him anymore. I've given up on him.

Maybe my Ryan Ross will come along someday, but right now I think I'm all right just hanging out with Regan and Lily. I don't mean to be all "oh, I'm too good, I don't need boys." Boys are great inventions, they really all. They can be fun, and smart, and absolutely gorgeous (hence Seth Riley); but sadly they can also be idiots. And if the only guys I can find are just that, then I'm going to stick with my girl-friends until the real deal comes along.

So that's my thing.

Take care, all.

Charlotte

Dear Lovely Friends and Readers,

Today is Wednesday, May 7, 2008.

Well, my friends, the weather today is slightly sarcastic with a slight chance of A) indifference or B) dissinterest in what the critics say. Actually, it's just cloudy, but I'm listening to Panic at the Disco, and that is a part in one of their songs, and since I am a complete dork, I have been wanting to say that for years.

Anyway, wow, this is totally insane. I have so much to talk about, and so little time to talk about it! Liam stayed home from school today because he is "ill." Also known as "lazy" and "unwilling to go to school." Which means I don't get the house to myself for a few hours while Mother's out doing whatever mothers do after dropping their children (well, child, today) off at school.

So I suppose I'll start with a exciting part: my daddy is taking Lily and me to the Raconteurs concert at Riverbend in Ohio! Oh my God, you have no idea how totally and completely stoked I am! I want you to imagine that you are the most obsessive Jack White stalker in this whole entire world. Are you imagining it? Well, multiply it by a kabillion and you're about a kabillion miles behind me. To make a long story short, I WORSHIP JACK WHITE. And although I prefer the White Stripes (Jack White's other band of eleven years) to the Raconteurs, it's Jack White, people! You just can't go wrong. I guess Daddy knows someone up there in Ohio that he used to play music with like fifteen years ago when he was twenty. And (drum roll, please) PANIC AT THE FREAKING DISCO is going to be in Columbus, Ohio, around that time, so we're begging him to take us to that, as well. He would probably go to the Raconteurs show, anyway, whether he was taking Lily and me or not, so maybe PATD could count at the one he's taking us to, and we'll just tag along to the Raconteurs. Because I do have to say, although amazing cannot even come close to describing Jack White, Brendon Urie of PATD can kick Jack's ass live.

In other news I've been harassed by Colbie Whathislastname again. He does it to everybody and he's completely joking but it still makes me uncomfortable. I haven't told Bobbie yet but I'll bet you she'll march in there on Friday and threaten to kick his ass (she could do it, too) if he does it again. Anyway, Mr. Paige was out on Friday so the Improv teacher, Mr. Evans, subbed our class. Well, since he's abou as qualified as a teacher as this bowl of popcorn sitting next to me, we combined class with the P.E. class next door.

Yippie, right?

WRONG!

It was hell. Yet another Charlotte has come to SPA. Dammit, I used to be the only one named Charlotte and then Charlotte Hanna came along and now Charlotte Wite is attending. And I want you to imagine being locked in a room with the most annoying person you know. Well, you're not even close to knowing that sinking feeling of seeing Charlotte Wite just walking towards you. This girl is the mother of all of the seventy-pound preteens dressed like strippers running around that school. I swear to God, it's like mini-Mean Girls. (Hey, shut up, I've only seen that movie like once and vowed to never do it again!) I wish you could see it. They all weigh about ten pounds; they wear more make-up than I've ever seen in my entire life; they all have bleeched-blonde hair; they all dress like strippers; they are all "deeply in love" with their fifteen-year-old "boyfriends"; oh and the worst part: they all cannot stand each other. There's constantly some war going on between at least two of them: Olivia Seigel looked at Charlotte Wite's "boyfriend"'; Charlotte Wite screamed, "Get off of my boyfriend, bitch!" even though he's standing right next to Charlotte and Olivia simply glanced in their direction; Olivia screamed, "I'm not on your boyfriend, you whore!"; and then they start clawing at each other until a teacher comes over and breakes them up.

It.

Is.

Sickening.

And, to me, the most disgusting part of the whole situation to me is that some warped parent would let their daughter go around dressing and acting like that. I mean, if Charlotte Wite were my daughter, I would say, "You march right over here, young lady, and wipe off all that make-up, go tell your 'boyfriend,' who, by the way, is twenty-one years old, that you can't see him anymore, put on some sweatpants and eat some cake or someting! We're gonna fatten you up!" I swear to God, that's what I'd do.

Anyway, I've decided that I don't give a shit what Max does. I'm finished with him. I'm not going to shoot him dirty looks across the room; I'm not going to pretend not to hear him when he says hi to me; I'm going to treat him just like I did when we were just friends. Because I now see that, to a certain degree, I was just like Olivia Seigel and Charlotte Wite. Well, I wasn't. But it's sort of the same thing. It was just kind of fun at first to say, "Yeah, this is my boyfriend, Max." But I later realized that I think I was just too young to be in a real relationship. I mean, I was like eleven when that whole thing started! I mean, we didn't go out on dates or anything, but it was just a fun little thing. And then I realized that "relationships" (I feel so unbelievably stupid calling what Max and I had a "relationship") come with a price. I was envied, I was talked about, I was called names behind my back, I was called names to my face. I was hated. And I don't want that. Yet, at least. Maybe as I get older I'll change my mind and find some guy I am completely head-over-heels in love with.

But for right now I'm okay just having my friends. Now, let's say Seth Riley walks up to me on Friday and says, "Charlotte, you are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen in my entire life. Will you go out with me?" You think I'm going to turn him down? Hell, no, he called me beautiful! I'm just saying I'm not going to give this whole thing with Max another try. I was too young to make it work when it started.

That's all.

Charlotte

Dear Wonderful Friends and Readers,

Today is Sunday, May 4, 2008.

Wow. I cannot believe it's already May. In some ways, this year has gone by in a flash! But in most ways, actually, it's been dragging on very, very slowly. But that's all right; I'm hanging in there. I have to go back to SPA tomorrow and be tormented by crazy nun-like teachers, whorish preteen girls who are desperate for boyfriends, whorish teen boys who just want be accepted, and of course my favorite of the bunch, the wonderful (wonderfully slutty, that is) Connie Mailla. I still cannot remember what her realy name is. I don't think it's Connie. She may have told me once when we were like nine or something, but considering I've never enjoyed her company, I failed to remember. But what can Connine be short for, anyway?

So the title pretty much says it all: I have a big revelation for everyone. Oh, and "Blackholes and Revelations" is the title of the band Muse's most recent album, and I was watching a few of their concerts last night, so I have Muse on the brain. Anywho . . . here we go.

I have decided (drum roll, please) that I will not be returning to school next year. It's not like a drop-out kind of thing, though for all intents and purposes, I am dropping out of the system, but it's for the best, I think. And, though a lot of it is Connie Mailla's fault (something I don't know I'll ever be able to forgive her for), it's not entirely her fault. I'm just sick of the bullshit, and having to be around stupid people. And believe me, I know a lot of stupid people who say and do really, really stupid things. And I'm just sick of it. I'm sick of being ignored by Connie, and stalked my Jayson (we'll get to that in a second), and having to pretend I don't hate Max. I'm sick of lying. And that's just what I'm doing: I'm acting happy while spending time with people that I don't want to be spending time with.

And you don't know how sad that makes me to think about that. These are the people I've grown up with, and who have been my best friends for as long as I can remember. But popularity and having a boyfriend  is more important to Connie; making everyone else look bad and having a girlfriend is more important to Max; keeping her social status good is more important to Annilee. And it's not to me. I don't want to end up like some of the girls I know. I don't want all the boys I know to call me a slut and a whore. Because they calls girls like Cady Thompson and Connie Mailla that. You know why? Because that's how that act.

My grandma always told me, even when I was too young to know what the words ment: "Charlotte, if you go around, acting like a slut, than that's just how the boys are going to treat you; now, if you act like a lady, Charlotte, that's how they're gonna treat you." And I've always, always, always remembered that. Where Connie does things that I don't think she really even wants to do, just be accepted, I try to act as "lady-like" as I can. And you know what? People respect me. Because I don't go around acting like a complete whore.

So anyway, back to the whole dropping out thing. I've decided that I would like to go back to being home schooled. Mainly so I can choose when I want to screw around, instead of screwing around all the time; and mainly so that I may choose who I would like to spend time with. It's difficult to exclude someone when you're at school (well, I guess Connie did it, huh?) because, for my age group at least, it's kind of just one big group. Some people venture off with a few others, but mainly it's just everybody hangs out with everybody. But thinking is, if I'm not put in a situation like that, and if I want to spend time with Re or Bobbie or Re and Bobbie, we'll just go somewhere instead of having to include everyone.

So I don't know.

That's all for now.

Charlotte

Dear Lovely Friends and Readers,

Today is Tuesday, April 29, 2008.

Well, not only am I obviously completely sick of Connie Mailla, I am also officially completely sick of her mother, Annilee, also. And it's funny because my mother cannot stand either of them either, so if I were the only one who was driven completely crazy by them, I would think maybe it was just me, but if my mother, one of the most easy-going, layed-back people I have met, cannot stand them either, then it must not all just be my imagination. It's also funny because right when I started coming to SPA's advanced classes, I stopped finding her completely obnoxious and almost was okay with her. But after this whole thing with Connie, she's gone back to her old obnoxious self.

Well, Max twisted his ankle playing guitar (or at least trying to) over the weekend, and ended up braking his ankle. I mean, how do you brake your ankle playing guitar, for crying out loud? I guess he turned the wrong way and it just snapped. But he's not a complainer when it comes to things like that. If it had been Cami, she'd have been bitching all day. But he was pretty cool about it, for which I was glad.

So when Regan and I wandered in Max comes skipping up to us, saying that he bet his friend he could get fifty girl's names on it in a week. I'm not sure how much he bet, but it must have been a lot, because he was pretty stoked about it. Along with a bunch of hearts and smilies, I also put "Chalotte: Max's Favorite" just to piss Connie off who just put "Connie".

Jenna Maxwell, Re's mom, once again told us that she didn't need our help in her art class for the little kids, so we went up in one of the empty classrooms upstairs and talked.

So you know how some people (like Connie and Annilee Mailla) go around talking about everything they know and how they know everything about everyone when they don't even know a thing about any of it? Well, that's just how Re is, only in a good way. Re walks around talking about how she knows everything about everyone (not a bragging way, even), but the thing is, she does know everything about everyone.

So I got all the hot gossip from Re: Apparently Cady Thompson (or just "whore" according to Max) is now going out with Noah Carter. I just about died when I heard that one. So you know how some guys are really ugly, but they're really sweet and you can't help but love them? And then you know how some guys are totally hot, but they're complete dolts? Well, Noah Carter is both: he's totally ugly and he's a complete dolt. God, he thinks every word that comes out of his mouth is the funniest thing to ever be said. And he's a complete smart-ass.

And evidently, before Cady and Noah hooked up, Cady made-out with Milo August. The part that will certainly cause the percentage of people calling her a whore to go up: He walked up to her, asked to talk to her, and asked if he could kiss her. Cady's response, and I quote: "Hell, yes." God, do I feel kind of bad for telling Max that she's not that bad. Now, do I think it's right that every time she walks into the room he calls to the nearest guy, "Who ordered a prostitute?" No, I think it's awful that he does that. But do I think Cady derserves a tenth or eleventh chance from all of us? I don't really know how to answer that.

I then asked Re if she thought it would be weird if I wore a dress to the play on Friday. Of course she knew why right away. Yes, my friends, the gorgeous, the wonderful, the amazing, Seth Riley is, as always, in the play. But so is Charlotte Hanna, his girlfriend, so that kind of defeats the purpose, but whatever. I still want an excuse to wear my dress! And I was thinking I might do my hair all purdy . . .

But anyway Re didn't think it would be weird at all. A little obvious, perhaps, she said, considering my eyes follow him everywhere he goes, but maybe people (his girlfriend included, hopefully) won't pick up on that. You know, I feel so sluttish drooling all over him, and then getting pissed at Max when he's all over Connie Mailla. And this is just going to make my sluttish factor go up a few more points, but I'm just going to say it: No matter how much this seems like it's just me making excuses, there is a difference between Max and me. Where, in my case, Seth Riley is just a crush. I've talked to him three times in my whole entire life! But then, in Max's case, Connie is just about the only person he hangs out with anymore. There is a difference. Max cannot stop talking about Connie and has even told me that he might have a "thing" for her. Where, in my case, I've never even mentioned Seth to him, except that one time he was calling him a whore (that's like the worst thing you can call him behind his back, according to Max, because some people say he's bisexual, which, among people his age, is like a huge no-no or something which is total bullshit) and I told him to stop calling him that. But you know what I mean, right? It's just different. Now, I'm sure Max could make this same exact arguement from his point of view, but I'm just saying, the way I see it, I'm not doing anything wrong by just having a little crush on the most adorable guy ever! Am I right? I said, Am I right? (That's from "A Charlie Brown Christmas," by the way.)

Anyway . . . wow, I really got off topic there. So after that Re and I just started talking about how, in writing class, Annilee never seems to help us. And then when Carrie tries to help us, Annilee has to jump in and say, "I read that book when I was twelve! Ha! Suck on that!" Okay, she's never told any of to "suck on that" but you get the idea, right?

By then, it was time for writing class. Wonderful.  Don't get me wrong, I love to write. Ask any of my friends, and they'll tell you that it's an obsession with me. But I just hate writing class this term because Re and I are the ones who take it seriously. With the exception of Ryan; he takes it pretty seriously, I guess.

Now, I just have to say it: I once again have proof that Ryan is not the idiot he gets turned into in these social situations. I had a decent, substance-containing conversation with him. And that's the thing! When he isn't surrounded by all those stupid guys I love talking to him. He's actually really down-to-earth, and just has some really great opinions. He even said it to me once. We were sitting there in the field and he said something, in response to which, Max said, "God, Ryan, you're such a freak!" And as God as my witness, Ryan looks over at me and says, "You know, I'm not really like this at home." And I took that to mean what I've always been telling people about Ryan. I think, where Ryan comes off as being overly social and overly comfortable in social situations with his peers, it's actually that's so unsocial, and so uncomfortable in those situations, that he invents this "bad-boy" persona, as Max calls it, to try and feel accepted. But if you get Ryan one-on-one, you can have the best conversations with him. He has a great sense of humor, he has great taste in music, and he's just really together.

And dammit, you know what? I think Annilee Mailla has pinned a lot of stuff on Ryan that was her own daughter's fault; but just because he spends time with that group, and has that reputation, she gets away with it. You know, it's funny, because sometimes I think moms can be worse than their daughters. Annilee is so focused on keeping her damn family image of every second of their life being the perfect Kodak-moment, that when her daughter is going through something that she could actually use some parental-guidence on, Annilee refuses to aknowledge that anything's wrong because her kids are perfect and could never do anything wrong. But the thing she doesn't realize is that everyone in the whole damn school knows that her children are worst trouble-makers in the whole building! I know it, they know it, and the American people know it! And you know what I think? I think it's that Annilee knows it better than any of us, and she's terrified that someone's going to find out that her family is not the perfect Pleasentville family that everyone thinks they are. I'm just going to say this: I've heard stories about that family. Stories that I don't like the sound of.

After writing class Re and I sat up in one of the empty classrooms and ate our lunch. And believe it or not, Max sat with us the whole time. Allie wandered up after a while, followed by Cami and Connie which pretty much ruined it because Max left with them. God, am I sick of his shit. But you know what my mother just said yesterday? She said, "You know the sad part is, this would be such a great group if it weren't for the Lovekin family." And it's the truth. I don't have a problem with anyone else in that group except Connie and Conor Mailla.

For the next our, Re, Ryan, Josh, Conor and I are the only ones who have a free period. Conor had to leave for "work" (which actually means he has to go home and sleep until it's time to go out and get drunk with his video-gamer friends) so it was just the four of us. Of course, having a free period means we have to watch all of the little kids. We made them play football while we sat around and talked. And once again, Ryan and I had a really nice conversation. He, like me, is really into indie music, so we just talked about all this great indie and unsigned bands while Re and Josh talked about something else. You know, she's my best friend in this entire world, but Re has awful taste in music.

Since we're both sick of all the bullshit going on in that school and since we're just bad enough to do it, Re and I ditched next period and went for a walk around the grounds. We discussed Max a lot since we're both sick of him, and before we knew it, it was time to go back inside and leave.

So that's it.

Hugs and take care, everyone!

Charlotte

Dear Lovely Friends and Readers,

Today is Saturday, April 26, 2008.

Good morning, all. Or as Anne Curry from "The Today Show" would say, "Good morning, good morning, everyone. In the news this morning, good morning . . ." Aww, bless her little heart. It's okay, Anne, I still love you, even if you are a little on the dippy side. Boy, does Joel McHale love to play that clip over and over and over again on "The Soup."

It was rather late last night when I posted my "Alphabet of 'Bands'" thing that Cami messed up and sent me. You were supposed to post a favorite song for each letter of the alphabet, but Cami misunderstood and did a band. Well, I typed up the whole thing with band names, and then at the end realized, something Cami didn't do, that it was supposed to be songs.

So I've posted the band one below the post below this, and here is the song one:

A:

• "All These Things That I've Done" by the Killers
• "Always Love" by Nada Surf
• "Anything But Ordinary" by Avril Lavigne (when she was still worth listening to)
• "Apocalypse Please" by Muse

B:

• "Backwater" by Meat Puppets
• "Ball and Biscuit" by the White Stripes
• "Behind the Sea" by Panic at the Disco
• "Believe" by the Bravery
• "Billy Brown" by Mika (LOL)
• "Blue Orchid" by the White Stripes
• "Bowl of Oranges" by Bright Eyes
• "Brighter" by Paramore
• "Building a Religion" by Cake

C:

• "Camisado" by Panic at the Disco
• "Champagne Supernova" by Oasis
• "Complicated" by Avril Lavigne
• "Crazy" by Gnarles Barkely (I don't like them, but I love that song)
• "Cry Me a River" by Justin Timberlake (LOL)

D:

• "Daughters" by John Mayer
• "Day in the Death Of" by Beyond the Fall
• "The Denial Twist" by the White Stripes
• "Dig a Pony" by the Beatles
• "Drops of Jupiter" by Train

E:

• "Eleanor Rigby" by the Beatles
• "Emergency" by Paramore
• "Everlong" by Foo Fighters
• "Extraordinary" by Liz Phair

F:

• "Falling Out of Love at This Volume" by Bright Eyes
• "Falling Slowly" from the soundtrack to "Once"
• "Fell in Love With a Girl" by the White Stripes
• "Float On" by Modest Mouse
• "Folkin' Around" by Panic at the Disco
• "Follow You Into the Dark" by Death Cab for Cutie
• "The Freshmen" by the Verve Pipe

G:

• "Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)" by Green Day
• "Grace Kelly" by Mika (LOL)

H:

• "Hallelujah" the Jeff Buckely version
• "Harder to Breathe" by Maroon 5
• "Here We Go Again" by Paramore
• "Hey Baby" by No Doubt

I:

• "I Don't Wanna Be" by Gavin DeGraw
• "I Hate Everything About You" by Three Days Grace
• "I Want it That Way" by the Backstreet Boys (LOL)
• "Icky Thump" by the White Stripes
• "Innocent" by Our Lady Peace and David Cook's version from "American Idol"
• "Iris" by the Goo Goo Dolls
• "I Will Survive" the Cake version

J:

• "Jenny Was a Friend of Mine" by the Killers

K:

• "Karma Police" by Radiohead

L:

• "Lazy Eye" by Silversun Pickups
• "Let it Be" by the Beatles
• "Lollipop" by Mika

M:

• "Maneater" only the Panic at the Disco version
• "Mr. Brightside" by the Killers
• "Mr. Jones" by Counting Crows
• "My Doorbell" by the White Stripes
• "My Heart" by Paramore
• "My Hero" by Foo Fighters
• "My World" by Avril Lavigne

N:

• "New Shoes" by Paolo Nutini
• "No Such Thing" by John Mayer

O:

• "Old Enough" by the Raconteurs
• "Our Song" by Taylor Swift (I don't like her, but this song is like a guilty pleasure for me)

P:

• "Paperback Writer" by the Beatles
• "Popular" by Nada Surf
• "The Pot" by Tool
• "Pressure" by Paramore

R:

• "Rag and Bone" by the White Stripes
• "Rehab" by Amy Winehouse
• "Rock Your Body" by Justin Timberlake
• "Rock-'n-Roll Lifestyle" by Cake

S:

• "Sk8r Boi" by Avril Lavigne
• "Slow Motion" by Third Eye Blind
• "Smile" by Lily Allen
• "Smooth Criminal" by Michael Jackson
• "So Nice So Smart" by Kimya Dawson from the soundtrack to "Juno"
• "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" Jason Castro's version
• "The Sound of Settling" by Death Cab for Cutie
• "Starlight" by Muse
• "Steady, as She Goes" by the Raconteurs
• "Store-Bought Bones" by the Raconteurs
• "Sugar, We're Going Down" by Fall Out Boy
• "Summer Loving" from "Grease"
• "Sunday, Bloody Sunday" by U2
• "Supermassive Blackhole" by Muse

T:

• "Times Like These" by Foo Fighters
• "This Love" by Maroon 5
• "Tonight Tonight" by the Smashing Pumpkins
• "Two Sisters" by Fiction Plane

U:

• "The Underdog" by Spoon

W:

• "The Way I Am" by Ingred Michaelson
• "The Way We Get By" by Spoon
• "When I'm 64" by the Beatles
• "Wonderwall" by Oasis

Y:

• "You're the One That I Want" from "Grease"
• "You Don't Know What Love Is (You Just Do as You're Told)" by the White Stipes
• "Young Folks" by Peter Bjorn and John

I strongly encourage everyone to check out some of these songs, if you've not heard of some of them, as well as some of the bands listed in the bands version of this little quiz thingy. And I never thought I'd see the day when I could thank Cami for a stupid E-mail forward, but thanks Cami, this has been fun.

Take care.

Charlotte

Dear Friends,

This is a tag a received from my most recently added Bravenet friend Marites1034. Thanks!

10 Reason Why I Blog:

1. I love to write. I've been writing fictional stories since I could before I could even spell, but it's also so much fun to record and discuss with others events taking place in my personal life and to, perhaps, receive feedback, if it is given.
2. I have kept a journal for as long as I can remember. I remember the year a turned nine, and Cami got me this journal with Junie B. Jones on the front from the book series. Well, I hated Junie B. Jones, but I filled up that journal so fast, it was unbelievable. And blogging, as opposed to writing, is much more convenient, considering I can probably type two words for every word I can write.
3. I've always really liked receiving feedback on my work, whether it be good or bad. I, for some reason, have always just appriciated when someone aknowleged my work and appriciated it as much as I did. And I've received so much wonderful feedback from my fellow bloggers.
4. I've been super surprised at all the support I've received. I've been having a rather tough time lately with a few situations going on in my life and I cannot not tell you how much support I've received from people I've never even met! You guys know who you are. Big, big hugs for you!
5. I also found it really fun to decorate my blog. I found the background at some graphics site, and then matched up colors and purdy fonts to go with it. I used to doodle all over my journals and diaries, but it's also been really fun to do a Web design sort of thing.
6. Something I've really loved about my blogging experience is that I've never felt judged by anyone who left opinions in comments or tags. I've said some things that a lot of people probably disagreed with, and were, perhaps, even a little offended by. But, even if they did or they were, no one ever told me I was wrong in feeling or thinking the way I did.
7. I really love my friends from school and all, but sometimes it's nice to have someone who you don't spend time with, but can still talk to and recieve support or opinions from without feeling like they're judging you. I've met people through blogging that I am so glad and I did and have gotten so much out of talking to them, and all I know them by is a nickname they use online, if that at all!
8. I feel like I can really vent. I always hated writing something not so nice about someone in a journal or diary and then having it sit there in my room. I felt like there was just bad energy around me now. But with blogging it's almost like you can let it all out and then send it out there instead of saying it and getting rid of it, but still holding onto it, to some degree.
9. I've always been the kind of person who not only likes to give opinions but to receive them. I just like to hear about what others' take on things are, and what other people are dealing with, and see if I can offer support.
10. And last but not least, it's just really, really fun to blog!

Charlotte

Dear Friends and Readers,

Today is still Friday, April 25, 2008.

Well, it's kind of late, but since I am just way too cool to go to bed early (I wish) I like to stay up after everyone's gone to bed and talk to some friends on Facebook or MySpace, which ever one's busier with online friends. So I was talking to Regan (she's always on there) and then Cami for a while. Before Cami had to go she was like, "Oh, and check your E-mail, Char."

And, of course, I'm thinking that I'm going to find an E-mail in my inbox saying that I've won a gabillion dollars, and it will be delivered to my house tomorrow morning. Well, having known Cami as long as I've known Cami, I probably should have guessed that instead of some wonderful news, the Queen of E-mail Forwards sent me a gift: a forward.

But I was actually very surprised; I found it very enjoyable, and would like to share it with my good friends at Bravenet, as well as the people on my E-mail list. Enjoy and copy-and-past it into your own entry, delete my answers, and do your own, if you'd like.

So here's the deal: You're supposed to pick a favorite song for each letter of the alphabet. Well, I think Cami misunderstood this, because she listed favorite singers/bands instead. So I get through the whole thing listening bands and at the end it says, "Now send this to all of your friends to share your alphabet of songs" and then I figured it out. So instead, I did both songs and bands.

A: AFI. They're a little on the hard-rock side for me, but I think Davey Havok has a great voice, and there are some "sick" guitar parts in some of their songs, as Ryan would say.

B: the Beatles, Bright Eyes. First of all, who doesn't love the Beatles? And, when describing Conor Oberst of Bright Eyes, the word "amazing" is an unbelievable understatement.

C: Cake, Counting Crows. Yes, Cake. Go ahead and laugh. Are you finished? Good. Yes, as I was saying, Cake is one of my all-time favorite bands, as is Counting Crows. What a great voice that dude from Counting Crows has (I can't remember his name right now).

D: Death Cab for Cutie. So there aren't many words in the English language that can completely sum-up Death Cab for Cutie. Again, amazing just doesn't cut it for these guys. And they are also a big influence for Paramore, another one of my favorite bands.

E: Evanescence. I don't really like Evanescence that much, but Amy Lee has a kick-ass voice, and it's the only band I can think of that starts with E besides this one indie band that I'm not that familiar with called Elizabeth. I should check them out; I heard of them on some Web site and meant to look them up. Hmm.

F: Two words, babe: FOO. FIGHTERS. That's all I'm  gonna say.

G: Ghostland Observitory. There this really cool indie band with this awesome sound. Really cool band; check them out sometime if you're into indie stuff.

H: the Helio Sequence. Again, another kick-ass indie band. They also have a girl bass player, which is pretty sweet.

I: Incubus. You always know when you're listening to an Incubus song. They have a very distict sound, which is so very cool. I simply love them.

J: Jimmy Eat World. I'm not sure what it is about this band, but I have always loved them. They have kind of a poppy sound without being annoying or anything like just about every  poppy song you hear these days. What is this world coming to? I mean, am I the only girl who still listens to the Backstreet Boys? Aaron Carter, people, come on! (Wow. I promise you, I will never again bring up Aaron Carter or the Backstreet Boys on this blog. That was scary.)

K: the Killers. Talk about distict sound. Some say they sound a little like Green Day, but I think not. I think Brandon Flowers could sing circles around Bille Joe Armstrong. And besides, "Mr. Brightside" is a classic modern-indie song. You have to love that song! And even if you don't, just watch the video . . . two words, ladies: Eric Roberts. I mean, he's a little scary now, but . . .

L: the Loves. Once again, totally sweet indie-rock band with a poppy twist. Very, very cool.

M: Modest Mouse, Muse. So Modest Mouse is pretty much a classic, but not many people are into Muse. But people really should get familiar with them, I think, because Matthew Bellamy is pretty much amazing. God, he's like Mariah Carey or something! Range-wise, I mean.

N: Nirvana. I'm not that into "garage rock," but it's Nirvana, people. Just about as classic as you can get for someone my age. It's classic, but it's not ancient, you know? And besides, my father worships Dave Grohl, and I think I sort of got that gene. It's like Dave-Grohlism, or something.

O: Oasis. So I cannot tell you how many people I've mentioned Oasis to, and had their response be, "Who? What? Oasis? Never heard of them." But oh, these people don't know what they're missing! I'm on a big British kick right now, and these guys are the real deal when it comes to English indie-rock.

P: PANIC AT THE DISCO, Paramore. I've always been very loyal to Jack White and Meg White. You ask my what my favorite band is, I spit it out right away: the White Stripes. But I think my current obsession, Jack White, might have a little compition. I am so very impressed by how much PATD has matured since their debut album, which was a little more toward the emo genre which I don't listen to as much. But I'm totally getting a Beatles vibe from their new ablum, which I think I've listening to about a kabillion times since it came out. Ah, and Paramore. I mean, you really can't go wrong with Hayley Willams. She's pretty amazing. And Zac Farro, their drummer, was like fourteen when they did their first album, so go Zac!

Q:  Well, I'm not sure if there are any bands I'm into that start with Q. I guess there's like, one Queens of the Stone Age song I remotely like, but I cannot stand that guy's voice. Bleh.

R: the Raconteurs. After hearing their first album, I was kind of like, All right, Jack. You know I love you, but this whole album could easily be a White Stripes album. But after hearing a few songs from their new album, I am totally amazing. It has its own sound entirely. Once again, Jack, you are amazing.

S: Silversun Pickups, Spoon. So here we go: two more great indie bands. Although the first time I heard my all-time favorite SSPU song, "Lazy Eye," I couldn't tell whether he was a guy or a girl. But I figured it out, and I am completely in love with them. And as for Spoon, they're totally amazing. I cannot believe he's from Texas, though! He sounds so British or at least somewhere in Europe.

T: So I think I'm gonna have to say Tool on this one. I mean, again, they're a little more hard-rock than what I like, but I have to thank Max and Ryan for getting me started on this one. They are pretty cool. And I'm always looking for something different, something that doesn't follow the mainstream. And Tool is definitely one of those bands.

U: This is going to be really dorky, but this is what happens when you have a rocker for a dad. I'm gonna have to say U2 on this one. I've been begging Dad to do "Sunday, Bloody Sunday" forever, and I'm hoping he'll do it soon. He is doing "Streets Have No Name," though, which is also a great song. And, of course, after Liam saw "The Simpsons Movie" (which I still haven't gotten all the way through; I can't stand that show, and I keep getting bored) he walked around for weeks saying, "He's not Bono!" And then of course afters a few weeks of saying that he stopped once and said, "Wait, who's Bono?"

V: I'm not that familiar with a lot of stuff by the Verve Pipe, but "The Freshmen" has always been one of my all-time favorite songs. Dad's doing that one, also.

W: Since I am still a very loyal Jack and Meg fan, I'm going to have to say the White Stripes. I mean, Jack White is a very busy guy, and everything he does still turns our amazing. I mean, what hasn't that guy done? And he's only thirty-two! And, I know you're probably gonna laugh, but I think he is so adorable.

X: Well, I couldn't think of a band I'm into that starts with X, so I skipped this one, too.

Y: You Say Party! We Say Die! I'm not familiar with that many songs of theirs, but from what I've heard they sound all right and that's all I could think of starting with Y aside from Yellowcard, who I don't like thay much.

Z: So I couldn't think of anything I'm into starting with Z either. You know, I'm sometimes wonder if they put Z at the end of the alphabet because it's not used that much. I don't know what putting it at the end would solve, but you never know, right? No, I'm probably wrong, actually.